Flying Hamburgers

It was the end of spring of my freshmen year, I was living in a dorm at the University of Texas where I spent more time drinking than studying. This was not good because it eventually lead to me leaving the university but for what it's worth at least I got some funny stories out of my time there.
Our dorm use to have these stupid picnics and shit. I was in an all male dorm so they'd invite girls from some other dorm over for this picnic and shit, my friends and I never bothered attending these lame ass get togethers. But one Saturday we were all pretty hung over and went out there for the free hamburgers they were serving. I don't remember who's idea it was but someone decided we should steal the hamburger patties and keep them in my dorm room. I figured I could always use a big box of meat so I agreed to keep them. We grabbed the box of 200 hamburger patties and jetted.
Now for the next couple of weeks we would cook this shit up when ever we were hungry and drunk. This meant starting fires at 4 in the morning in front of the dorm. Since we were drunk most of the time we didn't really think that a fire would be hard to start when it had just finished raining. Most of the fuel for our late night bbq sessions consisted of waded up editions of the Daily Texan(UT's school paper). As I'm sure you could imagine, this made for some kickass food.
After a few months of this I got tired of having all this meat in my minifridge, we had eaten a significant amount but shit just too much. One night after drinking more than my fair share of beer I decided that all these hamburger patties could be put to better use so I decided to throw them out the window of my dorm room. My roommate, Tommy, found this to be pretty hilarious so he took some pictures of me chucking these meat frisbees out of our window. I wish I could see those pictures because it was a pretty champ moment. Now directly underneath our window was the dorm parking lot which happened to be full of cars. I threw all this meat all over the cars in the lot and then I passed out.
The following morning I got up and drove an hour to college station, my dad owned a house there and I had to go cut down some dead trees for a tenant he had. As I walked into the lot I noticed just how wide spread the damage from the flying meat was and that every car in the lot had been struck with that shit except for mine. It was early and I don't think anyone suspected what the fuck went down so I jetted to take care of my shit. When I came back hours later most of the meat was still every where. But what made shit awesome was that in the Texas heat some of the meat had actually begun to cook. This made for some beautiful displays of flesh and grease. To make things worse all this partially cooked meat began to attract all kinds of wonderful Texas birds. These beautiful birds also brought a ton of bird shit with them and proceeded to take dumps all over the students cars.
From our dorm room we watched and laughed as our fellow students tried to wash the bird poo and grease from the hoods of their cars. It was good times.