Remember Mike? The guy who squirted his pants. Well I just remembered this awesome story about this girl he use to go out with. Her name was Laurel and she had knock knees and wasn't very bright. Well it wasn't that she was dumb really, it was just that she was a vibe killer. Not picking up on jokes, she wouldn't drink with us just stand there doing nothing as if she had no interest in being there. Now if you don't like your boyfriends friends then that's fine, don't hang out with us. But don't stand around like you wish you were at home reading fucking seventeen or some bullshit.

Ok so whatever, I never really liked Laurel but fuck my boy was trying to get some. Which never fucking happened so then my hatred for Laurel just grew even more because now we were subjected to her presence and it was all for nothing. Mike wasn't getting shit from her. Before I was at least cool with knowing he was happy, but after a while shit just sucked ass. So one day while talking about Laurel and trying to convince mike to peace on her, I had an epiphany. Shit it was a damn vision, I saw Laurel's face with the name Merle above it and from that day forth she was known strictly as Merle.

At first I was the only one calling her that. But eventually everyone would refer to her strictly as Merle, well when she wasn't around. It got to the point that some people didn't even know her real name, they only knew her as Merle. And this wasn't for like a few weeks, this shit went on for about 2 years. Shit there were times when someone would say her real name and none of us knew who they were talking about until they said "you know Merle." followed by "OOHHH her." I found the whole thing quite amusing and amazed that this went on for so long.

The most incredible thing about this shit is that Merle had no fucking idea that people called her this. Shit her best friends knew about it. And then one day we were all hanging out drinking beers and my friend Justin slipped up and called her Merle to her face. She was like "What did you call me." Now we knew this would happen at some point so we were already prepared to just play it off like someone called her some random name on accident. But her fucking friend fucked it all up in that split second before Justin could respond. Maybe it was the beers that slowed him up or the fact that it was fucking hilarious that he called her that to her face. Regardless before he could respond Merle's friend told her "You don't know? They all call you Merle" Right here is when Merle's jaw just hit the floor in disbelief. In an attempt to save his ass Justin immediately tells her "Serg is the one who started it" So Merle turns to me, you can tell she's in shock and I'm just trying not to fall down laughing. I'm like "well shit its a joke, its like our pet name for you." She wasn't having that so someone else tells her we came up with it one day playing with names and saying someone's name the next letter in the alphabet, Justin to Kristin, Laurel to Merle or Mike to Kike...Yeah I know its not the next letter but fools were trying to come up with something just so she would shut up. Then I was just like shit fuck it, and just told her I called her that because sometimes she could be a real dork and the name just seemed to fit her attitude. I didn't talk to Merle for a long time after that. I think she didn't like me too much, but to this day I still find it fucking hilarious. So thanks merle, you made me laugh.

ok now go here to watch the Rainbow Show. For some weird reason that show never made it to TV, you should watch and see if you can figure out why. Its goddamn hilarious.