CHOO CHOO!!!

Yeah some people might think this story is crude and not very friendly to women but I think it’s cute so fuck it.

Ok so a few years back when I was still living in Phoenix my friend David called me one afternoon all and we had this little exchange of words:
"Hello?"
“GUESS WHAT I DID LAST NIGHT!!”
“Um, what?”
“CHOOOO CHOOOO!!!”
“What the fuck is that?”
“ME AND PRD RAN A TRAIN ON THIS SLUT!”

I guess I should clarify who the players are in this little story. The story begins with David and PRD meeting up with some girls who were down for sexing. PRD is called PRD because his name is also David but in our circle of friends we had know David #1 longer so David #2 was given the name PRD which stood for Punk Rock David. You see how that works? Now I have asked David to write out his version of the story so that I could post it here. I’ve edited it up and broken up some portions to explain things. After David’s portion I will mention how the Eiffel Tower made some girl hate me. Okay so on with David's story.

So the night started out with PRD calling a few of us over to his place because he said he had some dirty hookers that need to get fucked. So we all rolled over there and there are some girls there as expected. One of them happened to be his neighbor. She was super underage. I think she was like 15. The other girl claimed to be 19 so that was cool with me. Unfortunately the "older" one was ugly as fuck and a little on the "husky" side. She was one of those fat skinny girls with a little frame and a slightly protruding belly.

Anyways both girls are all over PRD. We eventually break out the markers and proceed to start drawing all over both sluts. Then I said, "hey, why the fuck not?" and bust out my flaccid dick and write, "Fun stick" on it or something. Then I tell the "older" bitch to put it in her mouth cause the good looking one was pretending to be "shy". She plays it off like she wasn't a whore and just holds it for a minute while I get a few pictures. Eventually we get her to strip citing the fact that we want to get pictures of our drawings on their tits. Then we get her to pose with one of my swords on her twat.

The reason they wrote of those girls was because David and PRD both happen to be graff artists and they have this habit of drawing on loose women. I believe this trend of their's started when our friend Gnes decided to draw on a Cambodian refugee's vagina. Also you might be wondering why David has swords so I should probably tell you. You see after an evening of drinking a while back I showed David this site and he was so amazed that you could buy a sword at such affordable prices that he purchased one right there. He couldn’t really afford the sword but that night the beer was doing most of the thinking for him

The night rolls on and she is all over PRD. So everyone left while he worked some of his magic. Then a little later I stumble back to find the lights out and shit happening in the bed. I then take over with this hooker. PRD leaves for about 5 minutes. Then in walks another friend of ours, Keith. He plays it pimp while I'm fingering this whore and then Keith just shoves his cock in her mouth. So I'm fingering her and she's sucking his cock. Not even 2 minutes goes by before Keith nuts and is out. He straight up fucking left and went home. It was fucking hilarious. After that she then goes and rinses her mouth out.

Once she returns from the bathroom PRD rolls back in the room and straps into her. He starts hitting it from behind on his bed. So then I strip and she knew what to do. PRD is beating the shit out of her nappy bacon claw like no tomorrow. All you can hear is the sound of my cock piercing rattling her teeth and what seems to be the sounds of a boot stuck in a deep mud puddle and some ass spanking. PRD keeps laughing his ass off because he's flexing his biceps like he just won some heavy weight bout or something and spanking that bitch’s ass. After a few hard spanks she pulls my dick out her mouth and says the most scion dirty talk I've ever heard. Something about whips and chains. None of which we had. So I didn't get it. I just took it as a whore trying to get into her own self.

We just abuse this bitch a few more times with some slaps and laugh about it and give each other a double high five for abusing this bitch proper creating the profile of an Eiffel Tower. So after about 20mins PRD blows nut and he gets up and leaves. Assuming that I was a dirty man-whore as well (I was still a vaginal virgin at this time), she rolls over and spreads her legs and says, "You got next!?!” I looked down at her tore up pussy that could have been used for a ventriloquist act and said, "hell no!" Instead I pull her mouth on me again. A couple minutes go by and the neighbor girl returns from wherever to find her friend giving me head. She gets all upset and tells her friend to leave with her like a true cockblock. I got up and shoved that bitch straight out of the door again and locked it while yelling, "she isn't done yet!!" At this time I realized it’s getting late seeing that the sun is up now so I decided to finish up and laugh about it later.

Ok now the bit about the Eiffel Tower formation is the part of the story that actually relates to me in some way. Well besides the fact that David and PRD are friends of mine and I think David's story is funny as fuck. So yeah I guess I’ll tell my side of this little chain of events. This shit turned into a cute little inside joke. You see after hearing about this story people in our circle of friends decided that we needed to form “Team Hi-Five” and make stickers that showed two guys hi-fiving each other while some poor girl was caught in the middle. Now David never mentioned Team Hi-Five to me when he told me the story the first time. Where I came to learn of Team Hi-Five was from my friend Porter who I guess had been told of the idea from David and PRD. So one evening Porter, Dustin, and I were going to the bar and on the way down he was talking about how this whole running of the train shit was great and that team hi-five was a brilliant idea. He kept telling us how we needed to start a crew that just went out looking for girls to run gangbangs on.

Once we got to the bar and bought a couple pitchers Porter got to scouting some girl to join Team Hi-Five. Him and Dustin were pretty set on making something happen that night. I was more concerned with beer but I was amused by their attempts. We discussed how best it would be too approach a girl about having a gangbang. You see this is a delicate matter you just can’t go in there and say “hey you want to fuck me and my friends?” Negotiating an orgy takes a certain amount of finesse so you have to be very careful in your choice of words. While we were discussing how Porter and Dustin should best approach a certain female I told Porter to ask the lady if she had ever been to Paris. Now assuming she would say no I told him that his response should be “well would you like to see the Eiffel Tower?” She may say yes but how you plan to take her to Paris may be her next question. Here is where you just give her very vague answers and simply tell her that you cannot tell her how but instead you must SHOW her how. We thought this plan was ingenious and could not fail so Porter put on his game face and approached a young lady who looked to be quite friendly when it came to her fun parts.

She had been eyeing him so it looked like the probability for success was very high but we did not count on her being so fucking stubborn/stupid. Her dumbass cockblocking friend did not help our situation but Porter being the gentleman that he is persisted. Dustin also joined in and tried to convince the girl that Paris was the place to be.

Now at first I found this whole matter very amusing and I laughed repeatedly as I emptied a few pitchers. But after a while I was getting tired of the whole mess because it seemed as if it was going nowhere. The girl was too stupid to figure out what the Eiffel Tower and Team Hi-Five actually stood for no matter how many innuendos were made.

This is the point at which I decided to work some of my own magical charm. As Porter was whispering sweet nothings in her ear I interrupted and said to the girl, “Look my friends just want to know if you’re a fucking whore.” Now I don’t know about you but it has been my experience that most females do not particularly like it when you call them “whores.” So as I’m sure you can assume this young lady was pretty damn ecstatic when I referred to her as “a fucking whore.”

My suaveness pretty much destroyed our chances of having any sort of Hi-five related gangbangs. But do not lose faith because this girl was so enamored with Porter that after about 30 minutes or so of glaring at me from across the bar she proceeded to approach Porter once again. Nothing came about that evening but later on we left the bar and went to a house party that this young lady just happened to be at. But at this point she was quite a bit more intoxicated and as I came to find out she was pretty mad at me. This resulted in her yelling at me a few times as I drank my cheap keg beer and laughed. Shortly after we were asked to leave the residence.