Hip-Hop Dance Is Fucking Stupid

Ok now before all you fucking fancy ass b-boy’s get all teary eyed lets get one motherfucking thing clear. This post is NOT about breaking. This shit is about all them loser ass bitchmade after school special ed high school MTV bullshit hip-hop dance team bitches. FUCK THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS. I can’t stand those elbow jab I rock wristbands to save the last dance type fuckheads. It pisses me off so much that these motherfuckers call themselves hip-hop dancers. Just because they do your shitty dance moves in “hip-hop” videos does not fucking mean you are hip-hop or that you’re on the level of a b-boy. Straight up the only shit that deserves to be called "hip-hop dance" is motherfucking breaking. That’s it. You want to know why? Because hip-hop isn't some soft ass aerobics class bullshit made for soccermoms and Made rejects.



“Hip-hop dance” is suppose to be based around crews not fucking dance companies. You know what dance companies are for? For helping white girls not be as fat and look “urban” on MTV. Fuck that shit. You’re totally fucked if you’re trying to be down by getting into hip-hop dance because everyone knows the fanciest of hip-hoppers are b-boys so if you can’t get down with that and need to bring it on some uber-soft dance steez then get the fuck out of this shit. You have no fucking business associating yourself with hip-hop at fucking all. Leave that shit for fucking losers on Dance 360. Wade Robson is not hip-hop, he’s an aerobics class fantasy. Take those Honey type maneuvers and shove them up your motherfucking asshole bitches.



What bothers me the most about this shit isn’t even really the dancing at all. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not a fan of dancing at all unless you can hurt yourself or someone else doing it, specifically by hitting or kicking them in the face. But what fucking agitates me about this shit is that they try to tag Hip-Hop along with this shit to give it more “flava.” Get your own fucking “flava” you jackasses. Backup dancers are a fucking joke. Stop trying to get over by associating your soft shit with hip-hop. Hip-hop is about killing people not Jessica Alba trying to dance her way to the fucking top.

I remember my high school had a “hip hop dance team.” They were called “ColorBlind” and they fucking sucked. They would do their shitty dances at pep rallies and shit trying to pump up a bunch of sorry motherfuckers with their slides and elbow jabs. Goddamn did that shit suck. It pissed me off that those motherfuckers had the fucking audacity to call themselves a hip-hop dance squad. Those fools didn’t know shit about fucking hip-hop. These were the motherfuckers who were too pussy to roll to a show. Instead they would sit in their bedroom dancing to the MTV’s fucking countdown. These were the type of dumbasses that dreamed about dancing on the fucking Grind. Do you know why I watched the Grind? It sure as fuck wasn’t to see people dance. It’s the same reason I was watching Caliente. I was a teenage boy looking to see some bouncing tits and that’s fucking it. Shit the Grind even sucked at that. Caliente was way better than MTV’s soft shit because the girls on Spanish TV had less clothes and more buttshots.

You know what else is shitty about hip-hop dancers? It’s the fucking guy’s that do that shit. I can at least give girls some slack cause this is hip-hop after all and it’s not very accepting of females. That and in general most b-girls are fucking boring to watch. Now what’s wrong with guys doing this shit is that these are motherfuckers who could have been b-boys but no they want to do some bullshit arm flapping side step bullshit. These are like guys who join the fucking cheerleading team. You could have actually manned the fuck and played a real sport, but no you motherfuckers had to be fancy and put on your fucking dancing shoes.

What spawned this post was that my girlfriend told me about San Francisco Hip-Hop Dance Fest 2004, apparently it went down this past weekend. That along with the MTV episode of Made is what told me it was time to express my views on this fucking bullshit. It bothers me that these motherfuckers are trying to define hip-hop within the rules and structure of dance. Hip-hop is more than just fucking dancing and fuck trying to fit it into your fucking dancing shoes. If you read the program director’s statement on the SFHHDF site you’ll see that for her hip-hop is primarily made up of all these various factors of styles of dance. Fuck that shit, have your fucking dance festival but don’t try to ride the hip-hop wave with that bullshit. Shit just read her statement; she actually tries to associate a fucking group of Mexican mimes with hip-hop? That’s just a little bit of a fucking stretch there don’t you think? Come the fuck on already. Just because MTV thinks hip-hop ad campaigns are money making ideas does not fucking mean that anything that involves a gyrating belly can be called hip-hop.



Fucking Christ the biggest advancement in hip-hop dance was the motherfucking elbow jab. If that is the most creative thing you’ve been able to come up with since you first saw Kid and Play lock ankles then my fucking god just give up because everything you’ve accomplished is fucking worthless. Honestly I can’t lie, I did like seeing Big Daddy Kane and his backup dancers rock shit but you didn’t see them pussying out with motherfucking elbow pads and shit trying to spin on one knee. The thing about today’s hiphop dance is that it never really broke out of that early 90’s style and now the whole fucking shit is just corny as fuck. You fools might not be doing the fucking running man anymore but you’ve barely progressed to a level above the electric fucking slide.

WHAT IN THE FUCK AM I TALKING ABOUT? This is hiphop dance, isn’t it fucking obvious just how goddamn stupid this shit is. Why in the fuck did I have to make a post this long explaining it? Fucking crap I could have just posted pictures from the internet and that would have made my fucking point. I hate hiphop dance so fucking much that it angers me that I made a post this long that is dedicated to talking shit about it.