Innocence Lost

In the 5th grade I got a dog from some kid who lived up the street from me. He was a little brown mutt who had a special twinkle in his eye. I named him Boomer. Why? Because I was 10 years old that's why. Boomer was my motherfucking homie. My mom wasn't up for having a dog, she thought it would be a burden but since we had just moved into a duplex and for the first time in my life I had a backyard I decided I deserved a dog. My dad and brother agreed and Boomer was allowed to stay with us but it still wasn't smooth sailing or anything after that. My fucking mom pulled quite a bitchmade maneuver and tried to tell us Boomer ran away when in reality she took him to the motherfucking pound. After explaining to her that they were going to kill him if no one picked him up in a week she felt pretty fucking bad and we went and picked him up. My mom still feels bad about that shit and she fucking better. That's my fucking dog right there, you don't drop that motherfucker off at the goddamn pound. She's lucky she's my fucking mom or she'd get delt with.

Anyways Boomer was the downest dog ever, homeboy learned to shit outside with a quickness. I didn't have to pull any punkass maneuvers like shoving his face in poop and slapping him. I just hit him and he figured it out real quick. Boomer was mad chill when it came to meeting folks, the only people he bugged out on were those in uniforms. My little brother took quite a liking to Boomer, at times I thought maybe too much of a liking.

You see around the time my brother was around 6 years old something weird happened. We were playing video games or something and my dad let us have Boomer in the house. My dad was studying at the kitchen table while me and my brother took turns playing Nintendo. I was playing Stryder while my brother played with Boomer. Him and Boomer are wrestling around which was no big deal but then my Brother hugs the shit out of Boomer and proceeds to proclaim his love for my dog.

My brother actually said "Oh Boomer, lets make love." I drop the control because I'm not sure I heard him correctly for a second and I'm pretty fucking creeped out by the idea that my brother wants to have sex with my dog. My dad looks over with this confused look on his face. Apparently the idea of my brother engaging in beastiality seem kind of shocking. My brother was a clueless 6 year old and just continues to play with Boomer without any hesitation or noticing that we're staring at him. Then things get more uncomfortable because my dad notices that I'm a little perplexed by what my brother just said. My dad slowly comes to the realization that I know what "making love" is at the same time that I realize that my dad just figured out that I know about having sex. Then shit just gets hella awkward and embarrassing as fuck. I feel dirty like my dad just caught me jerking off. I quickly grab my controller and attempt to hide my shame in the thinly veiled sense of joy that is brought on by manipulating computerized images on my television.

My father and I have never spoke of that day. I don't think my brother even remembers it at all but that intense moment of incredible awkwardness still haunts me today. The innocence of Boomer was gone. He was no longer a little puppy that posed with flowers. He was now the Boomer that would break out of the backyard to go have sex with every female dog in the goddamn neighborhood. The same dog that would rip the ears off of Rottweilers. The same dog that attempted to have sex with a fucking terrier by kneeling on his back legs only to find out that the dog was too small to successfully insert his little red penis in.

You might be wondering why the fuck I know so much about my dog's sex life but that's because everytime he got out I'd have to go get him. I've actually had to pull my dog off of another dog in mid hump. Boomer didn't seem to have any shame, he was just a horny bastard out to get his. Oh how Boomer's innocence was lost forever, for shame, for shame.