STRAIGHT OUT OF SILICON VALLEY!

Oh fucking shit this was some left field shit. Today I got an email from Scott over at AngryWhiteKid titled Geeksta Rap. It contained a link to this article that is about Rajeev Bajaj and he is a 39 year old chemical engineer who wants to make being a geek cool so he has decide that rap music is the way to do it. Someone should tell this motherfucker lyrics like "I made the calculator and computer, too, cause math is not something everybody can do" are not worth recording. Fuck this shit is like a bad episode of the Cosby show. Goddamn I bet cockroach could serve this fool in a battle. That would be hot shit, Shakespeare raps vs math raps.

Anyways this motherfucker spent 15 fucking thousand dollars to make his stupid ass dream a reality. The bastard actually started a fucking record label. He thinks that because he is rapping about fucking differential equations that now everyone is going to want to sign up for thermal dynamics. I'm sorry but the declining rate in engineers has less to do with people thinking its for geeks and more to do with people in this country being fucking morons who are scared of a little math. You got motherfuckers who think studying criminal justice at city college is equivalent to going to fucking law school.

Now I have no problem with trying to make math appealing but fuck don't try to do it by fucking rapping about it. This shit just annoys the fuck out of me. Why don't these people ever fucking make rock songs about stupid fucking educational bullshit. Everyone wants to rap and think it's cool. Apparently these motherfuckers think that because I listen to rap music then I must be dumb enough to have my career decisions dictated by a song. I'm all for encouraging kids to pursue math but please have some self respect and do it in a manner that doesn't make you look like a total idiot.

Shit you want to know how I learned math? My fucking asshole father didn't let me go outside and play until I had finished 20 math problems he'd given me. This started when I was in fucking preschool. You think I gave a fuck about math then? Hell no, but I wanted to play with my he-man toys so I had to bust that shit out. My father wasn't exactly the best teacher either. His method consisted of him calling me an idiot and telling me to stare at the problem till I got it right. This resulted in my 6 year old ass staring at long division for an hour trying to figure out just what the fuck I was suppose to do with a goddamn remainder. I was fucking pissed. Everyday I'd get home from kindergarten right when my dad would come home from class and then he would sit my ass down with a sheet full of problems. I couldn't do shit till I finished. I remember sometimes he would be late and those days were the best because I could watch some cartoons before he came in and assigned me some bullshit. I'd sit in the kitchen trying to add fucking fractions while all my friends played wall ball. I was fucking trapped in hell.

As I got older the problems got harder and by the 4th grade I was doing problems out of a college algebra book. I remember when he busted out negative integers on me. That just about ruined my fucking shit. I thought I'd finally started figuring out this algebra bullshit and now some fucking wacked out concept involving negative numbers was wrecking everything. The first day he tried to explain them to me it was some simple example about how (+4)+ (-2) = +2. I was fucking 10 and just sat there thinking "WHAT IN THE FUCK!" The most important thing in my life was my fucking bicycle; I didn't give a fuck about this shit. Sometimes I would tell my father this and he'd flip out. You see he was studying for a PhD in agricultural economics so to him I was the stupid one who couldn't understand such a simple problem. It wasn't the guy who thought a fucking ten year old had to be fucking retarded to not be able to understand basic math concepts in under five minutes.

I use to hate doing this shit but my dad would make me grind that shit out every goddamn day. To pay the bills my dad cleaned churches at night and fixed cars on the weekends. The money he got from the university wasn't enough to feed a family of four. When he was at these churches I'd get stuck sitting in some fucking Sunday school class room doing math problems. Oh and after that I got to clean the goddamn church with him. I had every young boys dream, math and training as a janitor. Now I don't necessarily hate my dad for that shit although it was a bit fucked but later I benefited from it a lot. By the time I got to 7th grade I was wrecking kids in class. As I got older I started to realize the advantage of that bullshit and math was very easy for me. In high school I sold my tests, quizzes and homework to anyone willing to pay money. I sold my calculus final for 100 bucks a piece, 3 dudes bought it.

Oh and don't worry the bullshit didn't stop there either. When I was at Arizona State and living at home my dad came across some exam from my calculus class. The score was a 72 or something. It was actually the highest in the class and with the curve I got an A. But you see my dad didn't give a fuck about any of that shit and thought I was once again an idiot. So what did that bastard do? He comes into my room at fucking 5am and wakes me up and tells me to get the fuck up because we're going to go over the problems I got wrong. Nevermind the fact that I just got home at 4am hammered as shit and now my dad is yelling at me while I'm drunk and confused. So I finally stumble out of bed and go into the living room were my dad sits me down and starts babbling about some fucking integrals. That's when I made the wonderful mistake of falling asleep while he was lecturing to me. My drunk ass couldn't cope with math at that hour and I passed out. I woke up to him screaming at me about how I had no fucking drive and then he threw my test at me. That's when I got pissed and started yelling back at him about how he's a fucking dick and I actually got the highest fucking grade in the goddamn class and the problems I missed were because my fucking crazy ass Russian professor decided to put problems on the test that covered material we never fucking learned. You'd think my dad would be embarrassed or at least fucking apologize for this bullshit but no, he was just even more pissed and told me that's no excuse I should have gotten those problems right.

god he's such a fucking ray of sunshine.