Joey Beats Is Smarter Than You

Joey Beats is one half of the group Non-Prophets. His duties consist of making beats for the other half to rap over, the other half being Sage Francis. Like many I waited a long ass fucking time for this Non-Prophets record to drop. It’s been described, as a hip-hop book report with it’s many references and manipulations of numerous raps from a number of classic hip-hop artists. My first time seeing Joey Beats on stage was when he and Sage embarked on the Fuck Clear Channel Tour. The show itself was fucking badass but what made shit hype as fuck was when Sage and Joey finished off the their set performing a variety of songs off of Hope. Sage has one hell of a stage show himself but when Joey Beats comes out jumping around like a motherfucking mad man the spot gets torn the fuck down. Its nice too see a hypeman on stage who actually gets you hype rather than these legions of piss poor hypemen who would rather hold towns, sip water bottles, and fuck up the songs with their bullshit muffled as fuck punch ins. I don’t want to see a fucking hypeman who is more concerned with making sure groupies see him on stage so he can get a fucking blowjob rather than actually getting the crowd pumped. MOP’s hypeman punched holes in walls. That’s some fucking hyping. What the fuck is your shitty ass homeboy doing? Waving a fucking towel? Man the fuck up you lazy bitches.

Anyways enough of that shit on with the Joey Beats Interview. Oh I should mention that I don’t really know how to give an interview so it’s your fucking fault if you think this shit sucks because I think its funny.

B&R: well I guess let’s talk about the early days for you? How did you get into this whole sample based production shit? I know moodswing9 has been a big influence on, how did you meet him and what led to you making your own music?

Joey Beats: well I came to make music from working at college radio. They had a production room with equipment and bunch of records. I met moodswing shortly after and he showed me all about digging. He came in and was like dude, look at this, this, and this. Do you see all you are passing up on? He showed me a lot about labels, artists, breaks, etc. He taught me the basics

B&R: So by now most people know that you use SAW a lot, are you still fucking with that or have you branched out to using a Gameboy Advanced? Will Joey Beats soon be using a keytar?

Joey Beats: hahah, not at all. I love saw and that’s what I stick with. I can make any of the beats I've done in the past on any basic drum machine, like the sp-1200, the mpc -2000, xl, 3000, asr-10, etc. I've learned all of those. But saw is what I learned on and I'm a visual learner the computer is best for me.

B&R: well it’s been my experience that the keytar is visually stunning, I think you should take it up. What's up with this crush you have on Pete Rock?

Joey Beats: hahah, he's tall. I love tall guys.

B&R: haha, ok.... tells me what’s up with the whole indie rock mix shit you're working on? Are you trying to cash in on this whole mashup hipster bullshit?

Joey Beats: yeah, man definitely. I was totally trying to do something GIMMICK ridden. I'm not talented enough to not have a gimmick. So I was in my room one day and I was like damn, how the hell can I get more girls to like my music? Then it all dawned on me. BOOM. Remix a bunch of indie rock songs. I'm so fucking smot

B&R: And girls love mashup. I think gimmicks are the way to go

Joey Beats: yeah man, anything for these girls man. Its obvious I’m not making any money but female attention is the always the way. Once you get women and children, you're a pop star…haha

B&R: So how many girls did you have sex with last weekend?

Joey Beats: 7. It was an average weekend. You know, I usually do more but I’m trying to slow down a bit, you know?

B&R: its hard being a super producer when you got hoes all over the crib. Speaking of which, now that you are this big time superstar have you noticed a flood of shitty rappers asking for you to hook them up? I know in the past you've had people sit on shit, which led to the release of reverse discourse but now that you an indie rap star do people seem to be more eager to work with you?

Joey Beats: Yes, but I tell them no. I say listen, I’m trying to put myself in a rut again. I'm hoping to get swept under the rug and miss my chance at making a name. You know, try to keep it underground. That’s how you got to do it. PURPOSELY not capitalize on opportunities to move in this business. I'm the realest

B&R: The streets is feeling Joey Beats, keep it thorough.

Joey Beats: yeah man, I’m the realest

B&R: I've noticed that you are quite the fucking hypeman on stage. How do you prepare for your hypeman duties? Most hypeman seem to come from the Flava Flav school of hype but lately I've noticed a serious drop in hypeman skills

Joey Beats: I think about all the people who said I couldn’t do it. All the girls who've dissed me. And I'm up there to show them. I'm JOEY BEATS! And I'm here to stay! hahah. I'm the realest.

B&R: you seem to have stepped up the game, rather than others who are content to just wave towels and sip on water bottles

Joey Beats: yeah, well my theory is I have NO business being up there so I’m happy as fuck. Plus, in order to get these chicks you got to act like you belong there. So I've done a lot to the art of hypemanning. I look at all these other hypemen and just shake my head in disgust. They aren't pushing the boundaries. They aren't being artistic enough. They are too conservative. Too traditionalist. What I'm doing is AVANTE GARDE. I'm the realest.

B&R: oh it is very avant-garde, you don't even resort to making the crowd say Ho or even waving of the hands like just don't care and that is virtually unheard of in the hypeman realm.

Joey Beats: nah nah nah nah nah nah none of that. Where is the ART in that? I'm an artist. Come on, SERG. You know that. I'm a fucking artist here.

B&R: Oh I know

Joey Beats: I mean sometimes...I get this urge to stop the show and just explain to people what my last hypeman action was, and what it meant, how its supposed to be taken. They don’t know, these fools aren’t smart enough. So every often I want to stop the show and just TELL these people how fucking artistic and good I am. I might even consider opening up a Q and A with the audience. Where they can ask me about my hypeman craft and where I can directly answer them.

B&R: Some people should have the Joey Beats swagger explained to them. It’s so ahead of its time

Joey Beats: Yeah, these kids are idiots

B&R: Has there been any backlash from other hypemen since you have challenged their traditional ways?

Joey Beats: Yes, a lot. I see it in interviews and stuff. I mean, anytime any other hypeman doesn’t shout me out or prop me, THEY ARE DISSING ME. You know what I'm saying?

B&R: Totally, it’s a fucking slap in the face

Joey Beats: Totally, I’M like what????? You aren’t giving me mine? That must mean you don’t like me or my craft. Then its like FUCK YOU! You know?

B&R: It is only proper hypeman ettiquette to pay tribute to Joey Beats. Now as for the crowds, have you ever had such a tuff time that you've had to resort to waving your towel like a helicopter?

Joey Beats: No. That’s not my trade. I would rather walk off stage and risk not getting laid then resort to such action. No, no, no, no.

B&R: I respect that; it shows true pride in your art

Joey Beats: Yes, I'm the realest.

B&R: Has anyone ever said you weren't the realest?

Joey Beats: yYes. Every time someone doesn’t site me as such then they are dissing me and my craft. YES. So anytime ANYONE hasn’t sited me then that means they have dissed me

B&R: haha Okay, getting back to things besides being a hypeman. Now that sampling psych rock seems to be all the rage will we be seeing a Joey Beats album that sounds like moody lonely am radio highway music? Or will you be on some next shit?

Joey Beats: Yes, I mean lets face it. I'm white. That means I have to somehow bite Johnny Cash. Play the whole cowboy thing up. I mean, these other kids they are just mixing this with that. ME? I’m trying to be on stage next to Willie Nelson.

B&R: you could be one of the 4 horsemen, up there with Waylon Jennings, Merle Haggard and Willy Nelson

Joey Beats: I mean, between you and me Serg, this hip-hop thing is only so I can take a backdoor to doing country my true passion. I tried to ease my way into it...and I was doing a good job making the transition...

B&R: You ran into some trouble?

Joey Beats: But then I just broke down and just got careless in some interviews.

B&R: Oh no, you can't have that

Joey Beats: Awww these Internet interviewers they are so smot. Smotter than even I.

B&R: My god! Say it isn't so!

Joey Beats: And they got me saying something I didn’t want to let out. They got in there man and took the words out of my mouth. No, man for real. These kids are geniuses

B&R: Such trickery

Joey Beats: And you have to be a genius to trick a genius

B&R: But of course. What kind of country sound will you go for or the more rock inspired Garth Brooks' style?

Joey Beats: Anything that will get the country girls to like me more. Any kind

B&R: Country girls got ass, motherfucking wranglers and shit.

Joey Beats: I mean I want to keep it somewhat obscured because I have to play it off as if I’m some sort of genius and you can’t do that by exposing yourself too much so...I want to be....

B&R: Well you could always go the indie country route. That will get you a Grammy, but no wrangler booty

Joey Beats: the type of country musician who just barely doesn’t make the grand ole opry. You know, the Pete Rose type, where I’m more known for NOT being in the grand ole opry and how much of a travesty that is for all I’ve done for music then be the guy who actually gets accepted and is forgotten. You know what I’m saying?

B&R: Completely, you will be a legend within the country circuit

Joey Beats: yeah like an obscured legend like a Shuggie Otis. Like you have to be smot to know what I do

B&R: But outside of it in the "mainstream" you will not be known but you'll have respekt!

Joey Beats: Yes, indeed.

B&R: You know what I would like to see? A country music posse cut. Cash sort of created the idea but I don't think its been used to its full capacity

Joey Beats: Yeah, that would kind of tight. HOWEVER. I’m not too keen on collabs

B&R: Is that so?

Joey Beats: I want to be the star; you know what I’m saying? I have to get all the props. You know what I’m saying?

B&R: Oh yeah, that totally understandable.

Joey Beats: I mean the only people I would collab with would be someone like Willie. Can I call him, Willie? sure.

B&R: Especially since you've played hypeman duties for so long, it is only fitting that you would want to shine on your own. I can't knock that

Joey Beats: I would collab with Willie, invite him out for one song, let everyone know and be jealous he's my friend and then I can move on.

B&R: Do you think being from RI will be a tuff obstacle for the country crowd? Street cred means a lot to the country crowd. You can't just waltz in there with a guitar and some jordache jeans and expect them to accept you.

Joey Beats: No. Because I’m special. I’m different. I’ve been trying to prove that my whole career. I’ve been beating it over people’s heads for so long, you'd think they would take the hint that I’m the exception. But nooooooooooo. Ill do fine. I’m the realest.

B&R: I have faith in you

Joey Beats: As you should

B&R: Being so different do you ever expect to move to Europe like most of the different people? Or shall you be more different from them and go elsewhere?

Joey Beats: Been there done it. And you know what? I came back on some quasi-cultured shit. Making fun of the states and how fucked up our culture was, you know? And you know what? I haven’t changed much. I still keep that quasi-European epiphany very prevalent in my work

B&R: Wow, that is very cutting edge.

Joey Beats: Yeah, very original I know. Coming back from Europe with a chip on your shoulder. No one has ever done that. I’m the realest

B&R: Are their any new original accomplishments on the horizon for Joey Beats?

Joey Beats: No not really

B&R: Well that's a shame

Joey Beats: I’m just going to sit back and let every opportunity that comes by pass me. That will assure me of being a hypeman. And from there, I can continue to practice the craft and hone the skill. Only smot people will see how cool I am, but that’s how I like it because I can’t talk to these stupid people. I only like talking to smot intellectual people

B&R: Will you make a comeback or just make a shitty movie 50 years from now?

Joey Beats: Shitty movies

B&R: That would be a wise maneuver

Joey Beats: I’ll think it’s a comeback but it will be shitty movies

B&R: I have found that I respect artists more when they comeback after not making any music and make a horrible movie about nothing but "art."

Joey Nose Beats: Yes, it’s kind of like coming home from Europe.

(This interview originally appeared in the paper version of this website but for those of you who are to cheap to pay two fucking dollars for a shit rag here you go you cheap fucks.)