Burritos

Today Stef sent me a link for BurritoEater.com which is this cutesy site that reviews burritos from San Francisco Taquerias. It's a pretty extensive site full of most of folks favorite taquerias and I like the site but I got a couple issues with it. Now I don't claim to be the burrito guru but I think I've got enough background to talk some shit about some shitty ass burritos. Now I don't know what's up with this northern California shit but these fools like their burritos all weaksauced the fuck up. There are good burritos in this town but for the most part the spots that get jocked fucking suck. I think the most overrated spot in this town is La Taqueria down on 25th and mission. This place makes burritos for people who think rice is "exotic." Fuck that shit. I think that's what I hate about most burritos. Why in the fuck would I want rice wrapped in a tortilla? That's just retarded. If you don't think so go try a rice sandwich. It's the same shit, some warm flour wrapped about some wet grain.

This fucking pro-rice bullshit is one of the things that annoyed me about BurritoEater's review of Nick's Crispy Tacos. They act like it's a crime to hold off on rice in a burrito but that's probably why these jackasses had a fucking generic ass carne asada burrito. Sure it's the staple for burittos but it's fucking boring and I ain't got time for some shit ass review about some wet steak strips. If these dudes were smart they would have had a baja fish burrito. You'd think they would have gotten wise to it when they saw it on the fucking menu because in San Francisco motherfuckers don't know shit about some deep fried fish in their burritos. Tulips in this town like some grilled fish bullshit which is cute sometimes but it's not fucking with some deep fried fish in a beer batter. I was so glad I found Nicks because I'd been having withdrawls from Filiberto's fish burrito which was my late night shit. When I'm drunk I don't want a bunch of soft rice filling me up. I want my fucking fish burrito with some lemon and spicy salsa. Not this watery ketchup with black pepper shit that motherfuckers serve in this town. Sure the location sucks, eating in some lame ass club like Rouge is weak but fuck it that's what you got to deal with if you want a fish burrito. Fuck those pussies who eat at Rubios, shove that mall food court shit up your ass.

San Jose got a decent review which was cool because I think they are kind of the underdog of 24th and Mission with El Farolito being the popular favorite. Farolito has the late night on lock and does serve up some champ shit but man if you can rock some of San Jose's Al Pastor early in the morning you're fucking set. I like their shit any other time of the day, their chips suck so I wouldn't fuck with nachos or anything. They got some low budget yellow as fuck Tostitos that get soggy as fuck.

Then there is El Burrito Express which I eat at a lot but it sure as fuck isn't because of the quality it's because they are the only edible burrito spot close to my work. Burritoeater gave them a fucking 9 for their Super Chile Verde? Shit isn't horrible but a 9 is pretty high for the medicore shit they serve up. I usually rock a Carnitas Super Bronco because it's not packed with rice and I like that pork on my fork. I can't really fuck with those soggy ass Expresso burritos that are served sitting in some sauce. Eating burritos with forks just isn't right at all.

Oh and where in the hell are the taco truck reviews? I haven't been able to really gather my knowledge about SF taco trucks but I'll be the first to tell you that taco trucks can serve up some fucking grub. Shit it doesn't even have to be a truck I use to hit up some dude outside of Pull-A-Part on the southside of Phoenix around just before noon every Saturday. I'd be out there getting car parts and this dude would roll through in a busted ass chevy Beretta slanging burritos, tamales, and tortas out the back. He'd hook up a bottle of gatorade for an extra 75 cents. If he ran out of food don't sweat it, you would just tell him what you wanted and dude would drive home and get his wife to serve it up with a quickness. Within ten minutes that Beretta would come flying backdown the dusty ass West Broadway ready to satisfy you with some fresh ass food. That man was fucking down and his wife could crank out some shit.


I need to sleep so that's all you get to hear about my burrito thoughts.