Frhate is gone

The other day I found out a friend of mine died. It fucking sucks because he was actually planning on coming through the bay almost a month ago. I had no idea what happened to him because he is just unpredictable like that. Turns out he's fucking dead so that fucking blows.

Sean was this train riding crusty punk/hiphop kid that I came to know through anticon's old messageboard. This kid would post up stories about his traveling experiences and they were actually good. To many times I'd read something similar and it was just boring or corny as fuck He was actually a talented writer and what made it even better was that these were his own experiences of his own life. He was honest as hell and I respect that out of anyone, fuck shame. His writing would have cutesy shit that people fantasize about riding trains across the country in open cars but he'd also write about the reality of his experience like getting frostbite because your riding a train in the dead of winter through fucking Minnesota, drinking a fifth of Thunderbird so that you were too drunk to notice the hunger pains in your gut, going to jail for heroin. He didn't candy coat shit but at the same time it never felt like he was trying to make it sound cool either. It was his life.

I didn't know him at all at the time but he then he started IMing me because he thought my posts were funny. I think I was mostly talking shit to messageboard kids at the time or something. He had spent some time in Austin and Phoenix so we started bullshitting and I came to find out he was actually a cool kid. He left the bay to move up to Oregon but that ended up not working out so he went back home with his parents to Colorado. He seemed to be getting his life straight, he got his ged, sobered up, got a job and started going to school again. Unfortunately this didn't last. He'd be cool for six months but then he'd get caught up in some bullshit.

Sean had a drinking problem for years. There were times when I wouldn't see his name show up on my buddy list for weeks but it was usually because he was in jail or on some two week drinking binge. I got so accustomed to thinking my friend was just off somewhere fucked up that I didn't even wonder what happened when I hadn't heard from him for the past month. His drinking was his downfall. He didn't have a limit and it would usually get him in trouble.

But for all the fucked up shit Sean had going on in his life he was still one of the most interesting and genuine people I've ever met. I've never met anyone like him and I doubt I ever will. Not to many people have the guts to live their lives as free and just balls to the wall as Sean did.


Frhate's writing

I'm not posting this up so that people can tell me they are sorry or whatever. If you didn't know the dude well I'm sorry but I don't really give a fuck what you have to say. I don't like telling people they have my condolences for someone I don't know dying so I don't want people telling me that shit either. Might seem like I'm being a dick to people just trying to be nice but my friend is dead and the words of strangers don't really mean shit. I just want to post up about him because I am never going to be able to talk to him again.