THIS WEEKEND IT'S GOING DINE!

Emynd is coming out from Philly to rock some shit. Motherfuckers ain't ready, this one is going to be insane. Shit is not a game.


Click For More

Face Down Ass Up Last Night

Get ready for next month, Emynd is going to come down and wreck the spot. Trust me, you don't want to miss that shit. If you're not up on dude you need to get learned about Him and Bo Bliz's White T's and White Belt's party in philly. That shit is on some next shit, they've also got an EP out on flaming Hot. Emynd also has a bounce remix of South Rakkas Crew's Get Mad and he dropped a Bounce mix for mad decent radio that I highly advise fools to get on. It's a dope mix of a lot of newer bounce joints that outside of the south people really don't know shit about.










flickr set here


I'm fucking juiced on this flyer for july. The best part about handing these out is when someone realizes there is an asshole showing on it.

Click For More

How To Be A Myspace Rapper

The new issue of DOWN just dropped, my piece in this issue is about how to be a successful myspace rapper. I thought it would be funny and anyone with a computer has probably been annoyed by then so here you go.

So you’re 14 and bored with your shitty life. Well my young friend what you don’t know is that you are in the prime of you life to take on what could be your greatest endeavor ever. All you need is a dream, a shitty computer and the drive to become the greatest Myspace rapper alive. I have years of experience denying friend requests of idiot teenagers with no talent what so ever so I’m more than qualified to let you in on the secrets of a successful Myspace career.

Now the first thing you will need is obviously a Myspace account. Some of you may have heard of Facebook but Facebook does not offer the limitless abilities to annoy people with shitty web layouts and worthless bulletins. These are absolutely necessary for a victorious Myspace rap career. On Facebook you will never meet as many ugly as fuck fat girls with an endless supply of glittery fairy pictures wishing you a sexy Wednesday. Myspace is crucial to your ability to launch a successful Myspace rap career. The first step of your journey involves deciding what name to go with, the easiest of which is to just slap young/yung in front of your own name. If you don’t like it don’t worry because you will change it every week. Why you ask? Because people can’t delete you if they can’t remember you name! Remember, I’m smart and you’re an idiot Myspace rapper, do as I say.

Now back to the name, this is Myspace you need more than a simple rap name you need to also have useless bullshit added to it so that people think you have something to advertise. Be creative and use as many asterisk, dollar signs, stars, and exclamation points as possible. You can also use statements that show how serious you are about Myspace career. Oh and don’t forget that area codes are perfect for names also. A few examples you could use are “YungDub:[256k + Views] $G.M.B$” or “Corner Boi© Cant Be Stoped No Matta How Much U Try” or “REDD™305/ATL'Z MOST WANTED-I STAY CLEAN”
Once you have settled on a name it’s time to customize you page. Remember that having it look good or making any kind of sense is not important. One suggestion is the wider the page the better. In the world of Myspace rap having a page that loads properly is a fucking crime. You also need lots of played out background images like guns, skulls, pot leaves, dollar signs and bape icons. Also when it comes to font, it is preferable to have the font the same color as the background because you don’t want people to see the words; that would make too much fucking sense. Also remember that videos are your friend, even they are nothing but dumbass bullshit like you are your boy doing shitty dances that you learned from other Myspace rappers.

As for pics, these are wide open but remember a few things: custom images are the best but so are pictures of women you have never met or cars you’re too broke to own are perfect. Also you need to upload lots pics of yourself because you need as many janky as fuck slideshow applications as you can fit on your profile. When taking your picture remember to have enough shirtless pictures to be a starter on Chris Stokes’ team of teenage r&b ass bandits. Do not ever use a real camera; the shittiest camera phone you can find is the only way to do it. Nothing captures the glisten of white-out on shitty bootleg sunglasses like a broke ass hand me down Nokia phone.

Once you’ve completed your homoerotic photo session you will be ready to actually make some music. Now you might be under the impression that the music should be good, that is a fucking lie. Any Myspace rapper worth his friend count doesn’t give a fuck about making quality music. Besides you can’t waste time on quality because you need to make lots of songs so that they will all play at once when people visit your page. Quantity is key kids. That way they will have to listen to at least 30 seconds of them before they can turn them off. When it comes beats remember that you’re a Myspace rapper; you don’t need any original thoughts, much less beats. All you need are instrumentals, off the radio if possible and the shittiest mic you can hook to your garbage ass computer that hopefully doubles as a toaster. Don’t ever make the mistake of wasting your time with mixing down any songs. That shit doesn’t fucking matter and besides it takes time away from doing what matters most in this Myspace game: ADDING FRIENDS AND POSTING BULLETINS.

Bulletins and Add’s are what success in this game is all about. All you need is one song, shit it doesn’t even have to be a song it can just be you talking about how you’re going to take over the game. Fake hype is what the best Myspace careers are built on. When you’re adding friends you need to have priorities, such as never bother with adding people you know. Buffy the Body in your top 8 is a requirement in this game. As with anything, the bigger the ass the more important it is to add that person. It doesn’t matter if that person is just a Russian spam website trying to sell you porn or enzyte dick pills you need that add and probably the enzyte.
I can not stress enough how important bulletins are. Adds are easy because it’s just clicking but bulletins actually require some thought, more than you should even put in your songs. Bulletins work best if the title has nothing to do with the bulletin because only an idiot would tell the reader what was inside. Also consider the fact that no one wants to hear your music anyways. That is why you need titles like “ChEcK OuT tHiS nEw ePisOde oF dA WiRe!!!!” Another key detail is multiple bulletins. Never let more than two minutes go by between bulletins. If you haven’t filled up 6 pages of bulletins then the haters have won.

So in the end what have we learned? Talent is a waste of fucking time. Lying and annoying people you don’t know are what music is really about. Everyone likes ass and sparkly pictures of fairies wishing you a sexy weekend from the ugliest girls on the internet. And no matter what your mother says about your unemployed ass, you will forever be a CEO of a Myspace rap empire that will eternally live on in broken Paypal links to mixtapes you couldn’t afford to make.
Click For More

June 28th

BOOM BITCHES



This shit is gonna crack like a motherfucker.
Shane King LL Cool DJ $hezilla
Click For More

Face Down Ass Up

Did it up again at 222 last night. We're putting it down again June 28th so get ready.











flickr set here

Click For More

So Much Shit Going On This Weekend

Tonight there is all this shit, mazdaratti at madrone, bcause and white mike at the transfer, san quinn at GAMH with Automator and it doesn't let up after that. Friday 333 right and Darondo. Saturday is Face Down Ass Up. Sunday there is a whole mess of shit going down. It's a good weekend to be in SF. Not to mention fucking Carnaval


Thursday, May 22
Crudo feat. Mike Patton, Dan the Automator + San Quinn
Great American Music Hall http://www.gamh.com
859 O'Farrell Street
Doors at 7, show at 8, $21

Friday I plan on going to 333 ritch but there is also a Darondo show that should be dope



Friday, May 30
Orgone w/ Darondo & Nino Moschella
The Independent http://www.independentsf.com
628 Divisadero St.
9 pm, $15 advance / $17

Saturday I'm gonna force girls to scrub the floor



Sunday I don't know where I'm going to end up but its gonna be one of these





Click For More

Face Down Ass Up

We're doing it again at 222 this month. It's going to be ridiculously fun. This time around we got B.cause, Ghosts On Tape, $tef and $hezilla dropping that nasty shit. I need to get a squad of girls to roll through with spandex mini dresses though. Oh and if you want to see Madeline's nipple then click this.

If you have a birthday you're celebrating then email us at birthdaylist@wedontgiveafuck.com. Also any VIP booth and bottle service reservations should be sent to that email.
Click For More

Random Bass CD's

some random stuff I picked up recently at a record store in seattle, I also grabbed a bunch of tapes. The Bass XXX joint is a Dj Laz cd full of beats and second clips of ladies talking sexy. The Def Bass Krew stuff is a mix of beats and some shitty white guy rapping. The Magic City stuff is kind of the same but without a white guy. The Gangsta Bass Alliance is not as gangster as the cover art would suggest. I plan on uploading that entire Cash Money mix, it's probably the best of the shit I grabbed.

Gangsta Bass Alliance - Shake That Twat

Magic City DJ's - Push That Thang

Magic City Dj's - Get Into It

DJ Laz - 808 Bass For DJ's

Def Bass Krew - Def Bass In The House
Click For More

Seattle Trip

This past weekend Beer And Rap made a little trip up to the northwest. No particular reason just wanted to get out of SF for a minute. We got into town and decided to holler at some lunch. I parked the car and the first thing I saw was this:



The sign was taped to the inside the window so this guy has been displaying it to whatever neighbor hates him as a permanent reminder that he doesn't care. The truck was still taking up two parking spaces which just makes it even more of a fuck you.

For lunch we hit up Piroshki On Broadway. I like piroshkies and have fucked with them in SF and even in Seattle down by market, but nothing I've ever had could fuck with this spot. They were so fucking good, the bread was the best part. I copped the corn beef hash, mushrooms, and cheese.



We rolled through Everyday Music which was a few doors down and copped some shit. They were moving so tapes were two for one. I grabbed a few of those, some records and bass cds.


That night we hit up the War Room for Sing Sing. Pretty Titty and 4Colorzack are the homies so shit's always fun. That and Dave Nada was playing so I wanted to fuck with it. My last interaction with dude was in Austin and it mostly consisted of me yelling at him about how he has to stop the rave shit but since he has good mexican hair I liked him.




Afterwards Pretty Titty took us to some late night taco spot called Taco Gringos. It's some spot run by two guys who worked in restaurants and decided to fuck with tacos. Obviously this place isn't authentic but they got some dope shit. I tried the lengua off the strength and shit was champ. I also copped their rabbit taco and the roasted pork. The rabbit taco wasn't as weird as I thought it would be, but the tongue easily beat out all the other joints.

rabbit

veggie

tongue and roasted pork

yeah these are blurry, but you're lucky I even have photos considering how faded I was.

Saturday we mostly chilled around the city, ate some cured meat, and hit up some bars




Saw Eddie and his lady Roslyn.

Saturday night Pretty Titty told me about this taco bus so Sunday we decided it was the wisest move to see what the fuck was up. The spot was called Tacos El Asadero and the shit was fucking intense. You order inside the bus and you can even eat in there but we sat under the tent and put in some work. I didn't think Seattle could rep mexican food but they got some shit up there that goes hard.



1 carnitas sopito

2 Pollo Mulitas

and 1 pollo torta


Went by the Seattle Art Musuem, they had a roman art exhibit. I only got some photos of this Cai Guo-Qiang installation in the lobby. Dude hung ten Ford Tauruses from the ceiling.


Click For More

No Country For Old Men

Finally watched this shit after promising myself I'd see it in theaters. Didn't happen but fuck it, that opening scene is the best part about the motherfucker for me. When you see that shit before sunrise coming over the mesa. I've seen that so many fucking times. That drive through west Texas from El Paso to where you finally get some relief because you just saw that 290 on ramp and realize that sleep is just a short drive away. I remember when I gave some fucking nyc russian mafia motherfucker a ride from Tucson to Austin. Fool puked out the side of my ride just a few miles outside of van horn. Apparently buying tall cans of steel reserve at 1am in Las Crucas isn't the wisest the move you can pull. I remember one day I was bored in a hotel in Fort Stockton so at dawn I just drove south down to Alpine Texas just too see what the dirt on those hills looked like. West Texas is not magical, it's just a place full of dirt that dreams go to sleep on the side of a dusty highway in. I've stayed in shitty ass rat filled motels out there just because in January even snow falls in the desert. Sure you could try and make it to Ozona but when you're heater is out you say fuck it and pull into the first motel you can find. Sure the sink pours black chunks of rusty cockaroaches and the bed is lumpy with needles, but when that heater kicks in at 3 am you know you've made the right choice. The next morning after a cherry pie and hot coco from the local Phillips 66 you're ready to take on any doped up trucker or wrangler ass redneck border patrol cocksmoke with trigger happy racist prejudices that comes your way.

sorry I've been drinking and reminiscing. If this doesn't make any sense to anyone but me that's fine.
Click For More