Gulden Draak

oh man this one is a winner, the alcohol taste is kind of in your face but there is a dope malty sweetness going on too. It's not too sweet though and then after you get a faint bitter taste. It's hella foamy which I found out when I fucked up the pour, I was too juiced to drink it because this morning I handed off my on call pager to another coworker(FUCK BEING ON CALL!). I had to let it settle a bit before I tasted it. Anyways if you like beer cop this shit because it's hella dope and definitely worth drinking.
Click For More

picked up some new gear

I'm on call until the 17th so I can't really drink but I'm stocking up my supplies. I'm not fucking with any thanksgiving family bullshit. Rather stay home and get wrecked with some dope brews.
Click For More

Rogue Double Dead Guy Ale

It's good.


Click For More

I Got Some New Supplies Today

originally uploaded by Beer And Rap.

Made a trip to City Beer (on Folsom between 7th and 8th) this morning and that store is pretty much everything I could have dreamed it was. I already had the Shiner, Pilsner Urquell, Trois Pistoles and the St Ides but everything else I copped at City Beer. Store is pretty much the truth. Hella beers from all over. Its kind of pricey but they got shit you're not going to find anywhere else. I wish I had a store like that.

Click For More

Some people like to post pictures of shoes and shit

but this is what I'm rocking right now.
Click For More

Bohemian Black Lager

I am a fan
Click For More

Tall Can Marathon 2: Revenge Of The Can

Shit went the fuck down the other weekend, for real as fuck. The whole thing was held at my friend Max's and dude came through with that shit. He's got a huge space that had plenty of room for the mayhem that was Tall Can Marathon 2: Revenge Of The Can. We even had people djing, fucking Matthew Africa, B.Cause, Conceit and myself all got on the turntables. The forms this year were more official with a whole submission process, although a few cheaters were able to squeeze entries through. I had a whole officiating team which consisted of Lydia, Diane and myself, props to the whole team for maintaining the system, at least until the end but fuck it. Diane even showed up with a goddamn karaoke setup for more drunk fun. I don't really remember any of it but Conceit singing fucking nsync songs is pretty awesome and will do wonders for his hardcore rap career.

We had even more cans competing for the title this year. Fuck we managed to get Squatters, Abbot Ale, Heineken, Schlitz, Bass, Pilsner Urquell, Beamish, High Life, Miller Light, Tecate, Olde English, Steel Reserve, Magnum, St Ides, Colt 45, Boddingtons, Youngs Luxury Double Chocolate Stout, Guinness, Kirin, Tetleys, Sapporo, Becks, Budweiser, Murphy’s Stout, Rainer, Pabts, Coors, King Cobra, Belhaven, Coors Light, Strongbow, Morland Old Speckled Hen, Modelo, Budlight, and Mickeys. The Pilsner Urquell was the hardest to find shit, I couldn't believe it when I saw it. Fucking can was embossed too, that's how rare it was. It's like the limited edition streetwear of the tall can game with the fancy appearance going on. All in all there was a total of 35 different types of beers this year. As for a count of how many we actually had, that's tuff to say considering some spectators drank them also but I would say a fair estimate would be between 225-250 cans of beers ranging from 16, 22, and 24 ounces.

Contestants were required to fill out scorecards and then submit the completed scorecard with they empty beer and have a Beer And Rap official either approve or "bitchmade" the submission. In the beginning Lydia and I handled most of the officiating. But as time progressed it was clearly we weren't going to be able to maintain the role for much longer. Fortunately Diane arrived around 4 and she had volunteered to take over the officiating duties.

After tallying up all the submissions and going through the rating it was clear that the worst voted beer of them all was Steel Reserve which came through with an average score of 5, out of 20. The second lowest scoring beer was Young's Double Chocolate Stout with a score of 7, apparently many of the contestants were not fans of chocolate beer and actually resulted in Conceit vomiting. Some beer scores were not counted because not enough scorecards were submitted. We required at least 4 submissions, it's unfortunate because a beer like Beamish which seemed to score very high was short one submission, this was the same problem Guiness had. These issues are due to spectators consuming beers rather than contestants. Next year I will have a spectator only supply of beer so that every beer entered is given a fair shot at the title.

The most consumed beer of all was definitely High Life which came in with a total of 14 submissions and an average score of 12.786, not bad and actually enough to beat out the previous years winning beer, Abbott Ale (11.75). The winning beer this year was actually Boddingtons which finished with an impressive score of 16.5. Followed by Bass at 16 points and then Pilsner Urquell and Tetleys which tied with 15.75 points.
Of all the beers Pilsner Urquell was definitely the rarest, sure in a bottle its common but as a can it was truely the hardest to find. Until the day before the competition I had no idea it existed until I came across it at the 13th and Valencia corner store. The can is even embossed, a true touch of class that many of the other cans were lacking.

The Winning Beer


As for the contestants we had plenty more than the previous year. Many of last years veterans returned to take a shot at the title. Team Gurpo was making a strong representation this year bringing out the veterans and some newcomers to the competition. MC Oroville had his eye on the prize after being disqualified last year due to his love for king cobra. Lydia was original only going to officiate but was swayed into competing. Newcomers this year were Topr, Brandon B, Conceit, Max, Authentico, Uncle Dave, and Alan. There were more but I'm only mentioning the ones that attempted a serious shot at the title.

Topr and Conceit drank the most malt liquor at 5 cans each, which is deserving of recognition in itself. Although we have video footage of these two crying about how King Cobra was not available. Apparently both of these two were too caught up in their own hype that they overlooked the 6 of King Cobra that was on the top shelf of the fridge. Conceit and Topr both had their own plans of attack. Conceit relied on what he calls the burger strategy, light first, fucked up in the middle and light in the end. He puked after can ten, way to execute that plan dumbass.

Topr had a better plan which was to hit the gutter shit first and then coast on the light beers at the end. That kind of backfired when he realized most of the light beers were done with at the end. Although he came through with a total of 12 cans which was impressive as fuck, especially without vomiting. He was actually not even suppose to compete, claiming the roll of Conceit's coach instead. As any wise coach would do, he abandoned that shitty idea. If anyone was going to puke it was Conceit, the man has the stomach of a 2 year old. Topr was able to maintain and tie with Alan for second place. Alan turned out to be one the surprise contenders, I know dude is from chico but damn he crushed 12 cans like a champ. Although he did recieve a bitchmade for submitting an invalid scorecard.

Brandon B turned out to be one of the early leaders in the competition smashing the shit out of cans early on. It was very impressive and definitely deserving recognition but this strategy ultimately backfired when can 11 caught up to him. Sure he spent a long time doing the vomit walk trying to hold off the impending doom but sure enough he was the first to hurl. As a first time competitor he wasn't aware that TCM is more about going the distance than trying to rush your way to the finish. Think tortise because if you roll with the rabbits you're done. Also I think it would be wise to mention that even if he hadn't thrown up his run at the title would have been disqualified because Brandon repeatedly drank the same beer, not once but TWICE! AND both times those submissions were taken by Lydia, his girlfriend.

MC Oroville would fall to a similar fate has he attempted to win a title he felt he was robbed of in the 2006 Tall Can Marathon. Unfortunately for him he did not count on the fact that MC Oroville fucking sucks. Oroville vomited while on working on can ten, a substantial number but hardly a title shot. Ten merely seperates you from the Audrey's of the competition who forfeit the competition on beer three and then try to hide from the bitchmade stamp.

As for the women, Lydia and Stef were the two lead contenders with Lydia submitting a total of 10 cans and Stef at 7 cans. Lydia went on to drink a few more after than but did not submit scorecards for those.

As for myself I also submitted ten cans but later found out via photographic evidence that I drank a strongbow and a boddington. The Strongbow was actually an illegitimate entry into the competition because until I drank one around beer 11 I had no idea that it was not even a beer. I saw the can and grabbed it only to discover it's a fucking hard cider. We let the cider get a pass this year but next year the beer only policy will be strictly enforced. This year I tried to play it a little safer so as to maintain the entire day but after a while that wasn't working and I went on auto pilot. But fuck what do you expect, no breakfast and started drinking at 1pm. It wasn't even worth it for me to drink that many since I'm there simply in an exhibition/official role.

As for the winner of the competition well that went to Max who came in with a total of 13 cans, although I only have his scorecards for 12. we had many witness accounts of number 13 being slammed as he pulled through with an amazing finish in the end to take it over the top and become the 2007 Tall Can Marathon champion. He also won the grand prize which was a bottle of Unibroue's Terrible.




Here is a graph of the total percentage of types of beers that were submitted, for the most part Pilsner take it but Malt Liquor had a strong showing.


As for the number of beers submitted we have this graph which shows High Life clearly taking the lead in that category but I was surprised at the number of people who chose to drink Magnum. It's Miller's malt liquor so I guess of all the brewery's they definitely held the title as for as most beers consumed.





Alan
1. Bellhaven Scottish Draught
2. Bass
3. No Beer Entered
4. Budweiser
5. Pilsner Urquell
6. Becks
7. Schlitz
8. Colt 45
9. Rainer
10. Murphy's Stout
11. Mickey's (24oz)
12.Young's Double Chocolate Stout


Audrey
1. Budweiser
2. Abbott Ale
3. Tecate (24oz)


Authentico
1. Magnum
2. Olde English
3. Tecate
4. Miller High Life
5. Budweiser (24oz)
6. Coors Light
7. King Cobra
8. St Ides
9. Modelo
10. Young's Double Chocolate Stout


Brandon B
1. Budweiser
2. Tetleys
3. Miller Lite
4. Heineken
5. Coors Light
6. Steel Reserve
7. Budweiser
8. Tecate
9. Olde English
10. Miller High Life
11. Magnum
12. Steel Reserve


Brooks
1. Squatters Golden Ale
2. Bellhaven Scottish Ale
3. Miller Lite
4. Miller High Life
5. Coors Light


Conceit
1. Magnum
2. Miller High Life
3. Steel Reserve
4. Tetleys
5. Colt 45
6. St Ides
7. Miller Lite
8. Schlitz
9. Young's Double Chocolate Stout
10. Boddingtons


David
1. Miller High Life
2. Heineken
3. Bass
4. Tecate
5. Rainier
6. Abbott Ale
7. Pabst Blue Ribbon


Lydia
1. Abbott Ale
2. Murphy's Stout
3. Miller High Life
4. Pilsner Urquell
5. Colt 45
6. Coors
7. Heineken
8. King Cobra
9. Rainier
10. Budweiser


Mammal
1. Budlight
2. Olde English
3. Sapporo


Matthew Africa
1. Squatters Golden Ale
2. Bass
3. Boddington
4. Budweiser
5. Miller High Life
6. Old Speckled Hen
7. Guiness
8. Strongbow


Max
1. Murphy's Stout
2. Strongbow
3. Colt 45
4. Bellhaven Scottish Ale
5. Magnum
6. Young's Double Chocolate Stout
7. Budweiser
8. Schlitz
9. King Cobra
10. Old Speckled Hen
11. Modelo (24oz)
12. Boddington


MC Oroville
1. Magnum
2. Colt 45
3. Olde English
4. Miller High Life
5. Bellhaven Scottish Ale
6. St Ides
7. Rainier
8. Coors Light
9. Sapporo Reserve
10. No Can No Count, worst of all the entries


Novia
1. Pabst Blue Ribbon (24 oz)
2. Tecate
3. Becks
4. Rainier
5. Sapporo
6. Abbott Ale


Rachel
1. Squatters Golden Ale
2. Magnum
3. Rainier
4. Abbott Ale
5. Miller High Life


SergDun
1. Squatters Golden Ale
2. Abbott Ale
3. Heineken
4. Schlitz
5. Bass
6. Pilsner Urquell
7. Beamish
8. Miller High Life
9. Miller Lite
10. Tecate


Stephanie
1. Kirin (24 oz)
2. Tetleys
3. Budweiser
4. Miller Lite
5. Pilsner Urquell
6. Murphy's Stout
7. Heineken


Sweatpants
1. Sapporo Reserve
2. Squatters Golden Ale
3. Magnum
4. Miller High Life
5. Becks
6. Beamish
7. Steel Reserve


Thuggy
1. Olde English
2. Tetleys
3. Heineken
4. Magnum
5. St Ides
6. Miller Lite


Topr
1. Olde English
2. Steel Reserve
3. Magnum
4. St. Ides
5. Colt 45
6. Boddingtons
7. Young's Double Chocolate Stout
8. Abbott Ale
9. Miller High Life?
10. Miller Lite
11. Guiness
12. Kirin


Uncle Dave (seen here trying to smooth over Diane so he can submit the same beer twice)
1. Budlight
2. Olde English
3. Miller High Life
4. Coors Light
5. Magnum
6. Steel Reserve
7. Abbott Ale
8. Young's Double Chocolate Stout
9. Young's Double Chocolate Stout





Max on can 10


some contestants cried about no king cobra, those contestants are fucking idiots



I don't remember who was the first to get this sticker but it made some rounds

the stamps, only 20 bucks with shipping!












aftermath



grand prize

food!

approval process

chad, becky, and borg-nine


All in all the competition was a fucking blast and I enjoyed the fuck out of it. Everyone who came through gets props for repping that shit for real. Max gets huge props for letting me come into his home and do my thing. Dude hooked up the location, sound and even food. Fuck, he deserves props for holding it down and still having some of the best looking scorecards in the goddamn competition. Diane came through with the Karaoke set up and held down the officiating, Lydia also held it down on the scorecard tip even though she let her boy slide by on some bullshit entries.

Anyways more photos of the event can be see here, also we got a shitload of video footage and I'm not even finished uploading all of that shit but I will update this shit as I get them online. Here are some anyways, but for more go to the youtube.

a bunch of clips from tall can marathon


The Brandon B journey down the road to failure


Oroville on can 1



Oroville on can 9



Stef on can 1


Stef on can 6


Conceit is a video game


Cas discussing Aaron's shirt


Click For More

Canadian Beer Makes Me Confused

man so I've been eyeing this Trois Pistoles beer over at bevmo just cause the label is looking dope. A friend tells me shit is dope and it would be a wise move to cop so the other day I manned up and grabbed a 4 pack of that and Maudite. I don't get this 4 pack bullshit, stupid ass fancy beer thinks it's cute or something but really it's fucking dumb. Anyways I copped and on friday decided to set shit off proper and crack 'em. Thing is friday was probably not the best day to test these brews out cause I hadn't set up a proper base for drunk. All I ate that day was a fucking eggplant wrap and a small bowl of pasta. I was seriously lacking but I figured fuck it at least this will be interesting tomorrow morning.



I throw back a few and realize these are pretty dope but kind of have these fruity after tones that are weird but not too bad. It's like someone poured some wine in there or something. Whatever though probably what I should have payed attention to was the 9% on the bottle. Oh and another thing these beers is that they are refermented in the bottle which means they are fucking hella foamy. Which for fancy's who like to pour their beers that's great but for dudes like me who want to crack one and throw down this results in sucks. I didn't notice this until the foam got all over the counter. I don't want extra steps between me and beer. Whatever though shit tasted good so I couldn't front on them too hard.



Friday night was also the night of the Collector (go here for pictures) show which was an Art show put on by Bomb Hiphop. It was a showcase of album cover artwork. Stef was showing some of her records and djing so attendance was mandatory. We got there and B.Cause was djing already which was cool. I grabbed some red stripes and got my hanging out on.


At some point the Canadian poison began to kick in. It also happened to be when I realized I didn't have lots of cash. Naturally I began to look for an ATM and apparently every fucking atm within a 3 block radius was out of fucking cash. I started to walk one I knew would be stocked but a long the way I got confused and ended up at my apartment wondering what the fuck I was doing at home. I went back to space gallery, still with low funds because I forgot all about that shit. After being there for a while I remembered I needed money so I went out front to talked to some people but my brain got all fucked up with flashes of faces and voices. Apparently Stef called me to help her with her records so naturally I went home. At home I was like fuck this and then went to an atm and began looking for a bar or something. I don't know it was weird and dumb as hell, fucking Canada.

The next night was Poleng Lounge for the Strangeface Crew show. I have some issues with Poleng the main one being the floor in the backroom, that shit is like ice and as an intoxicated person in attendance this does not make shit fun. A new issue is that the place is also a resturant and drinking beers with the stench of fish sauce in the air sucks. But whatever with that shit, on with an invaluable discussion of rap performances. The opening act were some kids who looked like 5 years ago were rapping about their lyrical swords of rap magic but now wanted you to get sexed in the club or something. It was not memorable. Strangeface is basically like who ever hangs out with Conceit and wants to rap or give him beats. Well not really but really that's what it is. So yeah a bunch of dudes got on stage and busted raps while I got faded and listened or yelled in someone's ear. At some point I stumbled out of there and hunted for a cab.

Oh fuck I almost forgot the main motivation for me to go out last night wasn't the alluring rap performances, it was raining and motivation was lacking, but the dumb ass girls in my building provided enough. See my apartment building is set up with this atrium in the middle, I think that's what it's called. The stairs go up and everyone's door faces out into this open space, so it's built like a tall square donut. Now the issue with this is that if your loud and at the bottom shit echos all the way to the top floor. Most people don't hang out in the center area or have their doors open so that's not really an issue. Now I said most people. Recently there are a pair of girls who I believe have moved in to their first apartment and are excited to be living in the big city. I was made aware by another tenant that the pair of Becky's like to speak in high pitched yells like they were drunk at their first prom or something. On thanksgiving the becky's had a party and their dumb friends kept leaving the door open so I got to hear all kinds of dumb shit. Thing is I'm on the top floor they are on the bottom and I'm hearing this shit through my door. I don't understand how the people next to them deal with it.

Anyways the point of this shit is that last night I'm chilling throwing back beers and the becky's had another becky come over to be lame with. They decided to smoke in the atrium which is bullshit because it's been like an unwritten law that people don't fuck around with their friends in the common areas of the building. Fools got a balcony, use it. Well these drunk girls get all pumped and I was blessed to hear the visiting becky yell "OH MY GOD THIS PLACE IS JUST LIKE MELROSE PLACE BUT WITHOUT THE POOL! YOU GUYS ARE SO LUCKY!" It was at this point that I decided my evening would be better spent away from dipshit motherfuckers.

It's those moments that I hate being the manager because I can't just yell at some of the idiots in my building when I really really want to.

Click For More

Tall Can Marathon

So check this shit out ladies and gentlemen. This past Sunday I decided to host the first ever Beer And Rap Tall Can Marathon and it was fucking epic. The rules were fairly simple. Drink tall cans and rate them on a 20 point scale. Each contestant could not drink the same beer until they had tried one of every beer. A scorecard had to be filled for every beer. No one was allowed to take their beer into the bathroom. There would be two winners the contestant who drank the most and the highest rated beer. I limited the tall cans to 16oz's because if I thought 24's would be too much to have a marathon. The weaker contestants would crash and burn so with 16 we were able to stretch it out and see who had the endurance to drink. When I thought of this whole marathon shit I figured there was no way this could not be fun.

Saturday I went out in search of as many different 16's as I could find. Contestants were also told to bring beer with them so we could make sure to cover most of the bases. Some folks showed up with 22's and 24's but were accepted because it was too difficult to find some beers in a 16oz. We ended up with Abbot Ale, Squatters, Boddingtons, Tetley's, Wexford, Murphy's Red, Heineken, Becks, Schlitz, Magnum, Rainier, Colt 45, Old English, Steel Reserve (the song), St Ides, High Life, MGD, Budweiser, King Cobra, PBR, Tecate, Sapporo, Guinness, Mickeys and even bitchmade Sparks, which should have been disqualified but I felt generous. As the beers were drank they would be rated by four different categories: Sight, Smell, Taste, and Overall. Can number and Alcohol percentage were to also be recorded. The highest alcohol content belonged to the St Ides at 8.2%, followed by Steel Reserve (8.1%), Olde English (7.5%), and Rainier (7.3%). We started the day with 89 cans. I approximate that counting what contestants brought we probably had about 150 or so tall cans.







As for the contestants this is who they were and their corresponding scorecards which got progressively better with each beer.


Audrey

1. Miller High Life
2. Abbot Ale
3. Heineken
4. Blue Moon (this was a bottle so it doesn't fucking count)
5. Boddingtons


David AKA The Vomitter

1. St Ides
2. Rainier
3. Miller High Life
4. Abbott Ale
5. Budweiser
6. Sapporo
7. Tecate
8. Becks


Diane aka snack eater who takes a nap after 4 cans

1. Rainier
2. Miller High Life
3. Budweiser
4. Boddingtons


Enrique

1. Mickeys
2. Pabst
3. Sapporo
4. Miller High Life
5. I can't read what the fuck he wrote but it's pretty weak if he can't spell after 5 cans.


Kingmost

1. St Ides
2. Tetleys
3. Abbot Ale
4. nothing
5. Guinness


Lydia of (Hater Tuesday)

1. St Ides
2. Colt 45
3. Budweiser
4. Old English
5. Miller High Life
6. Coors
7. Rainer
8. Steel Reserve
9. Schlitz
10. Heiniken



Matthew (matthewafrica)

1. Boddingtons
2. Rainier
3. Magnum
4. Beck's
5. Sparks (like a bitch)
6. Tetleys


Mc Oroville

1. King Cobra
2. St Ides
3. Rainier
4. Schlitz
5. Colt 45
6. Budweiser
7. Sapporo
8. Sapporo (again)
9. no idea
10. no idea
11. Sparks


Mike

1. Pabst Blue Ribbon
2. St Ides
3. Olde English
4. Sapporo
5. Miller High Life
6. Miller High Life
7. Heineken
8. Boddingtons
9. Sparks
10. Schlitz
11. Schlitz
12. Colt 45
13. Schlitz


Rich

1. Squatters
2. Murphy's Red
3. Budweiser
4. Miller High Life
5. Rainier
6. Sapporo
7. Sparks
8. Heineken
9. Tetleys
10. Colt 45


Me

1. Miller High Life
2. Schlitz
3. St Ides
4. Abbot Ale
5. Budweiser
6. Green Pee
7. Murphy's Red
8. Tetley's
9. Murphy's Red


Stef (vinylexchange)

1. Tetley's
2. rainier
3. Boddington's
4. Murphy's Red
5. Beck's
6. Wexford Irish cream



Thuggy (Low Rez Pollution)

1. Miller High Life
2. Olde English
3. No name but it was the worst ever
4. Miller Genuine Draft
5. Piss In Your Mouth
6. Colt 45

some of my favorite quotes from the score cards were:

"Sweet what the fuck? Easy to drink but taste pussy!" -Rich on can 7, sparks

Sight: "It's in a gold can and the can is pretty" - Audrey number 1, High Life

Smell: "like 300 hobos" - Oroville number ?, can?

Smell: "funky, like pussy on a old hoe" - Matthew number 3, Magnum

Sight: "93 Era rap game" - Thuggy number 2, Olde English

Taste: "Smooth But Heavy (Like I Like My Women)" - Diane number 4, Boddingtons

Sight: "has a cool dog w/ a can in it's teeth. Dogs are cool." - Mike number 2, St Ides

How Drunk Are You: "I'd fuck a ugly girl" - Patrick number 6, Guinness

Taste: "This is terrible, god damn, taste like the sweet off the back of cee-lo's neck" - Lydia number 2, Colt 45

Smell: - Audrey number 5, Boddingtons

Taste: "Like a girl peeing on my face" - Oroville number 7, Sapporo

Smell: "16 Hoes all nicknamed bitch" - Lydia number 4, Olde English 800

Overall: "I Have A Feeling that once I finish this I am gonna be shithoused. Mommy???" - Lydia number 4, Olde English 800

For everything: "YEEEE YEEE YEEEE YEEEE YEEEE" - David number 6, Sapporo

Taste: "Like Bull Piss but in a good way" - Oroville number 4, Schlitz

Sight: "Green is pretty Booze is shitty I'm Hammered" - Lydia number 10, Heineken

How Drunk Are You: "I'm Super Gay" Mike number 10, Schlitz


Towards the end of the marathon Mike claimed himself the victor and slapped the crown on his head parading around like some kind of legitimate winner. Mike did not accurately record his road to victory as can be seen by the Tetley's in his hand in the above photo which he never filled out a scorecard for it. While that would give him more of a lead what is being drawn into question are the three Schlitz he has claimed to have drank. Upon further investigation by the Beer And Rap Security Council it was found that only 4 of the 6 schlitz were consumed which means Mike could have only had one of them bringing his claimed total down to 11. Now out of the total 18 high lifes we had only 10 were consumed but not all were accounted for. It is possible that Mike drank it twice but there is a possibility that Oroville or Kingmost drank the high life since both have nameless or unintelligible entries. Considering Kingmoist's softness it's a safe bet that Oroville probably went for the High Life. Regardless of whether or not Mike drank the High Life I think it is in the interest of Beer And Rap to revoke his title as Tall Can Marathon Champion simply because such a respectable title can not be given to such a dubious and suspicious character such as himself.

For a more accurate breakdown of the number of cans counted as drunk please see the graph below.


More questions are arising as I inspect the data of the competition such as the claims that 6 sapporos were drank. I know that six were provided but yet I still have 2 left. Now there is a very likely chance that those other sapporo's were brought by either Thuggy or Oroville but I don't trust either of those grimy bastards. I suspect that they teamed up to supply Oroville with false claims of drinking two Sapporos. There are witness reports that Oroville shotgunned his second King Cobra because he couldn't just have one so that shows you what kind of competitor this MC Oroville happens to be.


This graph isn't an accurate representation of the beers consumed because some of the contestants forgot to fill out score cards for their beers at a certain point, one of which was myself after number nine. For some odd reason this usually occurred once the contestants began on can number 10. I myself am even guilty of this. I don't know how many I actually drank but I saw photo where I was holding a Wexford that never was recorded and I have a vague memory of another beer. But whatever this is all part of the challenge of organizing a tall can marathon.

some of the more amateur contestants (Diane) lost the battle of wits that was properly opening a tall can and ended up drinking out of a glass.




Some contestants resorted to the use of the Shotgun technique to speed things up. I allowed this because unlike beer bongs you are still limited to drinking out of a can rather than using outside equipment to create an unfair advantage.


It was during this shotgun attempt to down a fucking Sparks that Mike the "winner" spilled most of that sissy drink all over my fucking balcony.


Lydia shown here is drinking one of the more racist beers in the competition.


Now for the winning beer of the Tall Can Marathon. After going through the data I decided that a beer had to get more than two votes to be considered and the votes had to be within the 20 point scale range. This eliminates the two highest scoring beers Boddingtons (19) & Becks(19.66) because stupid drunk asses gave both beers scores over 30. Oroville's vote for King Cobra was also not counted because King Cobra does not deserve a score of 90. Tetleys and Sapporo (the Asian contingency were responsible for this) were also discounted for scores over 20 points. The highest scored beer under these guidelines was Abbot Ale (aka The Pope aka The Pedophile) which received an average score of 15.33 making it the winner of the competition.




out the door


me cleaning broken bottles and beer after the shelf in my fridge collapse. Although I think it was from drunk people not knowing how to open the door cause my shelf was fucking fine.


rich on number 9, but don't worry he maintained to drink a Colt 45 after that.


david brought a fucking batman pen


I don't remember why I wanted to put Lydia in a headlock but I did




dueling cans


another picture of Kingmost and Matthew together


mike getting checked for being a bitch


oroville disqualified himself for his love of King Cobra so I wrote loser on his name tag







overall the marathon went well, I do think for the next one I need to have some sort of check in process so that those that do not finish their beers can be rejected and so that I have a better count of what people actually drink. Only one person threw up so that's good, even though he used all my toilet paper to clean it up instead of manning up and just asking for paper towels.

Anyone in San Francisco in need of some malt liquor? Hit me up cause I got a gang of left overs and I'm not trying to be an a colt 45 kick.
Click For More

Fuck a Razor

Oregon IPA, pretty light and not that memorable

I got sick of this retarded mach4 gillete game so I said fuck that shit and copped my ass a safety razor. 10 pack of double sided blades for 5 bucks, what the fuck you know about that shit bitches. Seems like it cuts closer than the shitty mach4 blades, but then I'd been using the same blade on that shit since febuary. I'm not using shaving cream or any of that shit and it's working pretty well. I'm starting to think I should have gotten a straight razor. I didn't because everyone tells me I'll slice my throat with that shit but hell this thing is easy as shit to use. The straight razor can't be too bad.


merkur safety razor

In other news jurassic 5 sucks even more than their last record. This was taken from sohh:

The first single off Feedback titled "Work It Out" features the Dave Mathews Band, who Jurassic 5 formed a close relationship with while touring together in the past.

"It's a step up for us because we have been basically known as an underground group." said group member Soup via a statement. "We've been known as a backpacker group. This album still has elements of that because that's who we are, but at the same time we are also trying to step into another realm."

ok it's been about what like 10 years since unified rebellion and this is what those cocksuckers have to show for rap? This is a fucking insult to rap music. I didn't think it could get much worse after BEP's path to soccermom stardom but sweet jesus was I fucking wrong. Now burkenstocks everywhere can pretend they love "hiphop." You know what is so fucking ridiculous is that j5 were some of the posterboys of the whole take it back to real hiphop bullshit and now they are making cornier shit than any fucking commercial record. Fuck, this shit is dumber than all of puffy's shit records. If for some reason you want to hear this piece of shit music then just check their myspace page, it's titled Work It Out. I'm fucking amazed at how bad this shit is. What bugs me about this shit is that these fuckers are trying to say they are trying to step into another "realm." What fucking realm? Are they striving to be embraced by people who have no respect for hiphop in the first fucking place? people who hate rap unless it embraces psuedo liberal college student ideals that they won't feel guilty about abandoning when they trade in their hemp necklaces for ties and keeping minorities out of their kid's schools. Embrace my fucking dick you bitches.
Click For More

Beer And Tap

dinner.

a friend suggested I try some tapatio with my beer since it looks like a mighty combo in the picture so I did because I'm not wise like that. It wasn't bad but it wasn't good enough to do again.

the girlfriend went to some work thing so I came home with a six of high life tall boys and found a new copy of Ozone in the mailbox so I sat down and got my beer and rap the fuck on.

Click For More