This Past Weekend

Friday rolled around I decided to hit up the Night Of The Remix party at Milk. The line up was Kingmoist, Morsecode, B.cause, Ross Hogg and Day so the soulstrut contingent was going to be in effect. To make sure I was in prime form I decided it would be a wise move to get a good amount of pregame action going. Got home from work and hit up the corner store for some Modelos and a shitty sandwich. Stef was going to some coworkers birthday party before hand and I didn't want to make food for myself so I just went with some lame refrigerated sandwich. This wasn't the best move though because a small sandwich doesn't make for a good base for me to build my empire of drunk upon.

Anyways my friend Mike shows up and we finish up some beers before heading out. Got to milk and run into Topr, Morsecode, Day, Ferrari, and Enki out front. Bullshit give away a few Hard As Fuck 2 cds and roll in. Ross and B.cause were spinning first and I caught the tale end of their set. I see Stef with Diane and Audrey and the first thing they show me is this picture that they got of some widebelt really juiced about making a request. Apparently she asked for some Bun B and while that's better than asking for a birthdaysexybackshit music girl needs to fall the fuck back and learn to play her position.



I suspect that most people reading this shit have some idea that making request is fucking retarded and annoying as fuck. This isn't your cousins wedding so step the fuck down. Next thing up is motherfuckers are going to ask dj's to play songs off their fucking phones. Shit it wouldn't surprise me if they show up with their own usb cords just to make that happen. The public really needs to get their game up when it comes to understanding just what the fuck is going down at a party.

After them Day got on and played DJ Eleven's Ante Up Remix. Well I get a little excited when people play MOP and this is the result.


In my excitement some dude got caught up in the action and ended up falling into the stage and hitting his head pretty bad I guess. No blood or anything he was just in a daze. I probably should have apologized but the power of MOP is just too much for me to do considerate bullshit like that.



but besides me running into dudes and telling some assflake to stop talking to my girlfriend shit was a lot fun. Saw some folks I hadn't seen in a minute which is always a good thing. I got my empire of drunk on quite a bit that night. Stef peaced out early but I stayed to hang out and drink. At some point I jump in a cab with audrey because she doesn't live anywhere close to my apartment. After dude drops her off I realize I'm in the mission and I don't have lots of money left so I tell dude to leave me at 16th and valencia because while I might not have lots of money I got enough for a fucking burrito. What I didn't know is that I didn't have enough brain power to order food and I ended up stumbling around asking for burritos and keys to the bathroom. I received neither. Don't remember much else after that although the next morning I found stains on my shirt and pants that I discovered were the remains of vomit. FUN!

Saturday night everyone was being a candy cane, stef wanted to stay home because she had class in the morning. I wanted to go out so I agreed to meet up with Diane at this Arspace Gallery. The anticon kids were showing their art stuff and djing. Show up and there are like 50 kids standing outside being tight pants. FUN! Go inside and it's crowded as fuck and hot as shit. MORE FUN! Diane warns me that the 16oz cans of bud are 5 bucks while the 12oz cans are 2. Well I'm good at math and know that 24 is a bigger number than 16 and 5 is bigger than 4 so I say fuck that weak shit. If you're going to offer a bigger can make it a fucking deal otherwise go suck your dick through your tight cut off shorts and fancy hat. After all the FUN! that was standing in a sea of bad haircuts and sweat as fuck we said fuck this mess and left for milk where they had the Supersonic party. Also it is where I originally wanted to go anyways. 215 the Freshest Kids were performing and they are some good folks who bust FUN RAPS! They did their thing, short set but it was cool. They had Swayzee the world famous turntablist handling sound duties. Would have been nice if they had a bigger crowd and more excitement but for what it was shit was alright. After catching Vinsol taking pictures of his dick in the bathroom I ended up hanging out with the flannel posse discussing the merits of shopping at mervyns and watching some drunk ass girl vomit on herself. Some dude was with her and was trying to pick her up but she was fucking assed out and not skinny so she wasn't moving anywhere. I wish I brought my camera, I like pictures of people in fancy clothes in the aftermath of drunk. Them Jeans was spinning that night so I gave him a Hard As Fuck 2 cd for being tall as shit.

this is a picture of me and the 215 kids looking very glamorous.


Monday rolled around but the FUN! TRAIN! did not stop there because monday Devin The Motherfucking Dude was in town at the Red Devil Lounge. A venue that I don't like because my closet is bigger than this spot. But fuck all that noise this was Devin. They had a bunch of opening acts I had never heard of. One pair of dudes wasn't bad they came out and kicked their set off with a cover of Shoulder Lean except they made it Scraper Lean. They had one song that went pretty hard and could have been a lot doper if they were better rappers and the beat was a little faster. But whatever the best part was the chorus cause they were yelling "fuck your life!"FUN!

The show started super early and Devin was on stage by about 9:45 or some shit. He did maybe one of the best sets I've ever seen. Didn't top his set at SXSW two years ago but damn dude killed it. Some of the shit he did was do what the fuck you want to do, anything, see what I could pull, sex faces, 79 lacville, and a short cover of James Taylor's version of Handyman. The usual passing of swishers was going down but devin was also handing out tall cans of budlight. THAT IS HOW YOU ROCK A CROWD. Please take note bitches. If you want to be a rapstar don't tell me to wave my hands in the air or say ho or whatever lame shit you came up with. Just give me a cold beer and we're rolling for life.


it was an early show so we decided to roll over to the hemlock were I came up on Tamale Lady. Oh man she has been out of my life for a minute but she fucking blessed me with some pork last night. Thank you woman, we need to be together more often.



outside of the hemlock I took some pictures of these fucking lame as shit Mopeds. I don't know about else were but this are the latest accessory for idiots. They are trading in their fixed gears for fucking weedeaters on wheels. I fucking hate mopeds and if you're going to invest in some weak shit like this man up and get a fucking motorcycle you cocks. Hell it's not like old japanese bikes are that much more expensive and they don't sound like they run on farts. To top shit off the fucking lames on mopeds like to wear helmets because they are bitches. Look I can understand wearing one with a motorcycle but when your top speed is 30mph you don't need a goddamn full face helmet. Motherfuckers are trying to pretend they are goddamn speed racer when they are getting passed by dudes on bicycles. Besides if you want to be real about shit trade in your busted ass moped and get a Minibike throw a 4hp tiller motor on there and you'll be hauling some ass on a tiny mountain of shit. It's way more fun than sitting on a fucking playskool shitbox with about as much torque as a big wheel.





in other news go vote because I am not allowed to and I fucking hate republicans.

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