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Fucking phish really? You fucking postcard, tie dye cock made out of rice a roni and built on Midwestern fears of rampant uncontrollable homosexuality and Priuses. Just give into what those dumbfucks want you to be you failed afterschool special. Peer pressure is a motherfucker when you let all the nerds take a giant dump in the vagina of what you call a city. It’s bad enough you’re over run with dubstep and retarded mustaches, you just had to give up your fog crusted anus and let a fucking jam band have it’s way with you. I guess it’s not rape rape when you get all those dicks in strollers to pay you for it.

This is what I typed into my phone a few weeks back when I heard Phish was headlining the horrible music festival that is Outside Lands

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