And now for a new feature…..Things Too $hort Says. Everything featured in this section was said by Too $hort on Sunday 3.06.11 at Yoshi’s.
“How you gonna be broke when you got a pussy?”
“What the fuck were ya’ll doin in ’89. Most ya’ll in here were in 3rd grade listenin’ to Too $hort. You wanna know what I was doin’ in ’89? I was a grown ass man. I had a drop top Cadillac, a big ass cellphone, big ropes danglin’ from my neck …driving cross the Bay Bridge gettin’ my dick sucked.”
“Square bitches shut the fuck up!”
“They told me to stop taking weed from the white people in the crowd.”
“There is a girl in the front row right here… I just want to fuck her face. Girl, I feel like my dick and your face have a connection.”
“Oh look at your hands. Those are nice. I can tell they be comin when they in your hands…. those are nice…. Yeaaaaaah they be coming quick!”
“Me and Richie rich used to sell coke at the Oakland coliseum. Not like coke white but Coca-Cola.”
“I be fuckin’ aunties. It used to be baby sisters, now it’s aunties. I’m 45….nigga been around. Ya’ll laugh but I’m telling you, Too $hort fucked your auntie….And some mammas. Investigate. Find out ask some aunties. Don’t be surprised when they like, “How you know I fucked $hort?” “
“There is some good grandmomma pussy in here. I’m 45. I know bout good grandma pussy. Ya’ll makin’ faces and groan all you want, but I’m telling you. There’s like 6 or 7 bitches in here with grandikds that will suck your dick hard, then make you cum, then make you hard again. Yeah, man. I love that grandmomma pussy.”
Other things that Too $hort did:
• Returned to stage from a break gesturing with jumbo shrimp while chewing. He waved it around, hit a blunt,then immediately returned backstage.
• Broke up weed and rolled a blunt while his band took a 15 minute R&B interlude.
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